Play With Me

 derelict Hellingly Asylum, West Sussex

Play With Me

It’s been a while since I posted anything here, still struggling with creativity and low mood, now at the stage where I think everything I do is not good enough, and never will be. Hmmmm – not a very good place to be, hoping it won’t be too long before it all comes back and I can feel some enthusiasm for my work once more. It seems from talking to others online that everyone suffers from creative blocks now and then, and that it usually comes back after time, or after trying something new e.g. perhaps a different style of working, or in stepping out of one’s comfort zone.

I am sure that this is the case.  I am only a little concerned (well, more than a little tbh) because (a) my last “creative block” lasted for twenty years (!) and that (b) I am currently being treated for a depression that has led me to the point where I don’t want to “do” photography at all – I’m disinclined to read about it, to take new photos, to work on the many RAW files already waiting on my computer, to believe that there is any future in it for me at all so what’s the point?  I’m aware that this is “depressed talk” and that once the new tablets start to work I should be able to see past all that, to have faith in myself and my abilities again, but at the moment this is very hard for me.

So I wanted to say to all my followers and friends, thank you for your continued support of me and my work, and sorry I haven’t been commenting on your work and blogs much recently, but I will be back and I hope that you can all bear with me, as I really haven’t forgotten you.  I have made some truly great friends here online, through Twitter and Flickr, and all the wonderful things that everyone says to me about my work are a great source of inspiration and comfort when I feel this way – so thank you all – sincerely, thank YOU – and I hope to be “back” properly in the not-too-distant-future.

X X X to everyone

Footnote: I would like to say a sincerest thank you to everyone who has already commented here and sent me messages of love and support – you can only begin to imagine just how much this means to me.  Will very shortly be away from the computer for a time, so for future visitors and commenters here please don’t think I am ignoring your messages by not moderating them or responding directly, thank you for stopping by and I will be I will be back as soon as I can.

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25 Responses to “Play With Me”

  1. Doug Insole says:

    Hi Viveca, didn’t have any idea what you were going through. I hope things are looking up and we can see you out on the Urbex scene soon and sample a lot more of your delicious work. All the best Doug

  2. A very touching post Viveca and I sincerely hope you find a way forward to a brighter time in your life. I hope you find solace in your talent and it gives you the strength to reach new heights xx

  3. Andy Gimino says:

    Viveca….Well said and honest. I at times feel exactly the same way with my nature and landscape work. I wonder if I will ever catch a break or if I will starve as an artist the rest of my life. I feel fortunate to have met you and I hope that you continue on your photography path. Your work is amazing and very professional and the world of photography would surely miss someone of your talents. I struggle with the frustration of my images being endlessly rejected by total strangers and I wonder if I made the right choice by giving up being a professional chef for my passion for photography.

    Your creativity is just awesome and I am honored to be in the same company of friends that I too have met though twitter and other social avenues. Don’t give up and lose hope!
    Andy Gimino recently posted..Under the bridgeMy Profile

  4. Eric Leslie says:

    Hi Viveca,
    I agree with all the sentiments. Sometimes the feelings of passion we have come and go and when they go it can be hard. You’re very brave to share these very personal details about yourself with all of us. I’ll be praying for you! I trust you’ll be back at em with your memory of this slump quickly fading into the background.

  5. When I look at this image Viveca, I see light and open arms, layers and textures. It represents hope and you created it. Your strength is just below the surface and you will come back stronger than before. I look forward to more provocative images of layers and textures . . . and I know that it will be soon. Hugs, Barbara
    Barbara Youngleson recently posted..Private PropertyMy Profile

  6. V,
    OMG, I would never have thought (having shot with you on a few Urbex misions) that you suffered from depression. I do dip a little into that world myself and I know its not a great place but sometimes I feel its what makes us creative all be it sometimes in a dark manner. You have always seemed so upbeat and positive to me and quite frankly I think your photography could be used as a bench mark as to where you have to be to be GOOD. Your work is fantastic and I have been waiting for that release on Flickr that you have gone Pro because to me it always looks like its just round the corner for you. I wake up sometimes and I just wonder why I am taking photo’s, I guess this is how your feeling. I don’t know what to say as for everybody its different but you have to hang in there because you have a lot to offer, if it means people have to wait for a while so be it. Look at Geo HSF (Flickr) he stepped back for a bit while he sorted some personal stuff out and came back and everybody was just glad to see his work back on Flickr. You would be the same, you have influenced a lot of people V… including me.

    All the best.


  7. Leon Neal says:

    As Tristan says above, a new perspective may give you a kick-start. Depression aside, anyone working in a creative field will have dry patches and the occasional loss of inspiration. I’ve beaten it in previous years by either taking mayself way out of my comfort zone or just looking at a new area. I’m currently enjoying film. Join me in analogue fun! 🙂 x

  8. Paul says:

    Chin up!

    There is ALWAYS LIGHT at the end of the tunnel!

    Look forward to seeing more of fab work!

    Cheers, Paul!

  9. Hi

    I have felt this way often – this too shall pass! Please feel free to email me anytime.

    Kind regards, Erik

  10. Brian Furbush says:

    Viveca – thanks for sharing, and rest assured that I/we all miss you and are pulling for you. Looking forward to catching up with you when things turn around, and always here if you need a new perspective.

  11. Heath O'Fee says:

    We definitely miss you, Viveca. I’ve found myself in periods of creative block as well, and it can be tough to get through. Just know that we’re all pulling for you and I absolutely can’t wait to see what you’re going to bring us once your motivation returns.
    Heath O’Fee recently posted..Shot of the DayMy Profile

  12. Geo Romolo says:

    Hey Viv,

    I read this last time but i was soo busy, but i would like to say that its cool, just take your time and do what you need to do. I have been in the same boat at times, and well it’s difficult, but you have friends all over that sport you and know what ever you do your friends will be there, and in good time when things get better you’ll have it all come back just don’t rush it or push yourself. its all takes time. and in due time you’ll see but now just chill and relax.


  13. Jacques says:

    After reading your words just now, I switched on my iPod and chose to listen to Peter Gabriel’s ‘Don’t Give Up’ while thinking about what you wrote. I’d like u to listen to it carefully, while remembering you’ve got friends pulling for you. So don’t give up, Viveca! And I love your shot of the lonely, forgotten bear.

  14. Hey, i know exactly where you are coming from as i am in a life long relationship the the Big D myself !

    How about changing the perspective here ?

    Pack all your cameras away and say “OK i am not allowed to take any photographs for X amount of time, days, weeks a month whatever time-frame you want to put on it.

    That way you are taking the pressure off as you are not actually allowed to take photos, and as soon as photography is the forbidden fruit you will start wanting to eat it again as once you are not allowed to you will see things that you want to shoot, and we all eat what we shoot eh 🙂

    have a read of this too

    Stay strong and dont be long


  15. Viveca,
    We totally understand and hope that you will be feeling like yourself again soon. I’ve always been inspired and admired your work.
    Continue to take the necessary steps to take care of yourself and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Hang onto hope Viveca, better days are ahead.

  16. Really sorry to hear of your predicament and condition Viv.
    You don’t seem in a good place right now.
    Really do hope you manage to extricate yourself one way or another and get your mojo back.

  17. Chrisdmrf says:

    Hi Viv. Great image as usual. Even when below par you are still producing images that make me strive to improve, as I said before talent does not go, you may not be feeling too creative but this will pass and you will be back to your peak. Take a break, smell the flowers, look at the clouds. At some stage soon you’ll be reaching for the camera without realising it.
    Chrisdmrf recently posted..Camden Town Pt 4My Profile

  18. Kristi Hines says:

    This photo says to me that there is a little happiness and creativity inside you, just waiting to be picked up and nurtured again. Don’t feel pressured to do it – just let it come back to you naturally. I go through phases where I literally feel like I’m covered in a thick, inescapable fog. Then one day, that fog lifts and everything around me looks clearer, more beautiful, and problems feel conquerable instead of insurmountable. Your fog will lift too!
    Kristi Hines recently posted..Hoot HootMy Profile

  19. Dave says:

    Very sorry to hear of your current state, I hope it is one that passes soon. You can be sure of one thing though, and that is you have a great talent for making superb images. Nothing wrong with some time out if that’s what you need. As to where your photography will lead; well as long as it remains a creative outlet that makes you happy then that’s all that really matters. Take a good breather and I’m sure you’ll come back twice as strong.
    Take care. 🙂
    Dave recently posted..Multiplicity- The making of ‘We are one’My Profile

  20. God, we miss you so much Viveca, but I totally understand where you’re coming from on all this. I find that the way I feel as I stand with my viewfinder pressed to my eye tends to come out in the work I produce, so it makes perfect sense that when you’re not feeling great the art seems to suffer. We truly think you’re wonderful, but totally understand what it means to be going through a rough spell. The only advice I can really offer is to not give up; your thirst and quest for creating your amazing art will return once you start to feel better. In the meantime, we’re all here wishing you the very best and looking forward to any update you can share. You’re in our thoughts and prayers here, Viceca, sincere best wishes my dear friend.
    Toad Hollow Photography recently posted..Objet dArtMy Profile

  21. Bob Lussier says:

    We do miss you. And these images are wonderful. I love the POV on this. It creates a very unique mood.
    I love the new look of the blog as well. We’re thinking of you out here. I hope you feel better.

  22. Chris Nitz says:

    I second what Jim said, we miss ya! Wish you better days and may the creative slump take a break. BTW, you do have some really amazing work!

  23. Richard Reader says:

    I know exactly how you feel about the creative block – going through something similar. All the best.

  24. Cazpoo says:

    I Know exactly how you feel xx

  25. Jim Denham says:

    Here’s hoping things get better soon! We miss you out here!

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